Updated: Sep 17, 2020
Through years of care and nurture by its dedicated leaders, Daniel Wong, Alan Leung and Didi Wong, Men’s Fraternity has developed into an open community whereby men can develop both the life and spiritual skills required to become leaders both in the wider world, the workplace and at home.
Every Tuesday night for the past few years, this community has exponentially grown and men are given the opportunity to explore different areas of growth in their lives either spiritually or in practical terms.
Men, by nature, tend to struggle on alone in the face of life’s many challenges and pitfalls. Men Fraternity fosters a safe yet open community for men to share their different aspects of their lives and receive feedback; though sometimes all that is required is a listening ear.
Men wear many ‘masks’ and behind these ‘masks’ they hide and the repercussions can be devastating especially if a decision is made without thinking of all the consequences.
Jeffrey Lam is one of the youth pastors at Island ECC and here he shares his experiences of Men Fraternity, why men all of ages should join and what true freedom truly means.
Be in community
“I believe that men are naturally secluded, like to be individualistic and hide in their caves. Men struggle with many things they think are unique to themselves and what this causes are inward attacks leading to lack of confidence and self-condemnation. These lies all lead to a downward spiral of mental and physical health and numbing. When men are in
community like MF and the secrets that come out are not actually secrets and that we all have similar issues, then we can all help each other overcome and become better people.”
Lam went onto discuss what community meant to him.
“Personally, it is a place where men can be empathetic with each other and men can realise that they are not alone. It means I can also get time away from my relationship with my wife so I can be with other men to see how I can improve my marriage. Otherwise, I am in this race alone.”
Lam also mentioned the transition from his IT job to his new work as a youth pastor.
“The trigger was several things. One was my grandmother passing away and this triggered the thoughts of importance of life and what is priority and legacy to leave in this world. Being in a stable IT job, there was really not much impact on how to improve people’s lives. The second trigger was that my door in IT closed, allowing me the freedom to move to another career. Financially it was very tight as I was running out of money however I kept trusting God. I believed that if one door closes then another would open. So I kept waiting and exercised the four letter word called GRIT. Through coaching school, and other ministries as a volunteer, I made it into youth ministry. I am enjoying the fact that I am impacting people’s lives not for my sake but for the glory of God and of course, my character is growing and improving as I do that.”
“First and foremost, there is a fear and the fear of lack.The fear that there will be no provision. I understand that if you have a family, there are responsibilities. With fear being such a big driver, this also brings about an uncertain future which eventually leads to control. We just love to control everything we do as it gives us safety and yes, safety could be a good thing but it also sabotages any potential opportunities we have and any inklings in our heart to move in a new direction. Fear and control I believe drive the reason why we don't move forward into a new career or new domain.”
Fear to Freedom
“Freedom is first and foremost not the freedom to do anything you want - it is to be free from the desire to do anything you want as we all know that too much of a good thing is bad for you. It is us saying no to things so we don't become slaves to the things that we perceive to be good. It is about understanding your position in God's kingdom, determination and trusting that God is on your side to provide for your needs so you can be free!”